Because Who is He to Tell Her
by PipestreamR
Summary: Story starts between manga chapter 699 and 700. Kakashi is hokage, Sasuke has returned from his redemption journey, and Sakura finally had her wish of getting together with Sasuke come true. But things aren't quite as she had hoped, and she confides her feelings to Kakashi. And Kakashi almost does the same... KakaSaku


First fanfiction ever, so please bear with me.  
I really try hard to keep characters as far away from being OOC as the plot allows, but let's face it, canon-Kakashi doesn't quite equal romance, so I just did my best. However, if you think something is awfully OOC, let me know.

Also, I'm not a native English, so correction of any errors are VERY welcome!

With that said, here goes. Anyone who have read the manga (I can't believe it actually ended *sobs*) should be able to imagine this scenario.

Rated T because I have little idea of how to rate these things (lol), and I wouldn't consider this "adult content".

* * *

oOo

Kakashi was slowly walking down the streets of Konoha - what had now come to be his village since becoming hokage - though it still had an odd ring to it.  
He had sneaked out of his office in one of the rare moments Shizune dared to leave him unsupervised. He was even worse than Tsunade had been. He was planning on finding a nice, quiet spot where he could read his beloved Icha Icha series, which had been badly neglected since his change of status.

Then she spotted her. Them. Sakura and Sasuke, a few metres down the street. Sasuke had returned from his at redemption journey, and Sakura had finally had her wish of getting him come true. Sort of, anyways.  
He watched them from the distance.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, why don't we do something today?", Sakura asked enthusiastically.  
"I'm busy with training".  
"Again? Well, how about later, then?"  
"Sorry, I have stuff to do", came a dry response. "I've gotta go now. See you later."  
And then Sasuke gave her a quick wave and left, leaving Sakura looking ever so disappointed. And slightly hopeless.

_Hmm..._

"Yo! Been a while", Kakashi finally approached with a greeting, raising his left hand, right one solidly placed in his pocket, giving Sakura a smile, hidden under his usual mask.  
She quickly looked up at him, smiling at him. Genuinely.

_Yes._

"Kakashi-sensei!", she turned slightly towards him. "Are you going somewhere?"  
"Not really, but Shizune had let down her guard, so I abandoned the paperwork for... anything." Might as well be honest. "I deeply sympathise with Tsunade-sama. Shizune is merciless. If only Shikaku-san had still been here...", Kakashi was dreaming himself into his old role with much less responsibility. He could honestly not wait for Naruto to get mature enough and take over the title as hokage.

Sakura giggled.

_Yes._

"Imagine how it was, being Tsunade-sama's apprentice and Shizune-san's junior at once", oh, did she know about both of them.  
"I'd rather not", he answered lazily.  
"But is it okay to leave your work?", she asked with what seemed like genuine concern. Whether that was for what might happen to him when Shizune tracked him down, or for the unattended cases, he didn't know.  
"Mmmm, it should be. Everything has been so at peace that it can hardly do any damage". No worries.

"So, how are things?", he asked her.  
For a short moment, she glanced towards the ground, losing the smile. Then she looked up at him again.  
"It's fine", smile.

_Fake._

"Sasuke is just getting used to staying the village again".

_Lies._

"I think he may worry that people don't trust him. But it'll be fine, people will come around. He just needs some time to settle and see." Still that smile.

_Don't._

He looked at her, indifferent and with no particular expression.  
He looked at her, insincerity showing in every inch of her face.  
What he really thought, though, was that Sasuke probably couldn't give her what she hoped for. What she deserved.

_But who was he to tell her._

"Hmmm, you're probably right", he responded in an uplifting voice.

_Filled with dishonesty_.

"Well, it's Sasuke we're talking about, anyways," he continued, "he's hard to get under the skin of. It'll work out soon enough". A masked smile.

_Smothered in insincerity._

But it worked, and Sakura's eyes lit up with slight hope and optimism. A small, but real, smile appeared on her face.

_I just want to see you__r beautiful face__ smile._

Sakura looked after where Sasuke had disappeared, giving a short sigh of relief.

"So, sensei," a smirk formed on her lips, "how long do you plan to hide from Shizune-san?".  
"As long as possible," he sighed, though he knew that the longer he stayed away, the longer the preaching. Oh boy...  
"Have you thought out some brilliant excuse yet?" she asked, now smiling broadly, reminding him of the cheery girl she usually was.  
"Mmmm, not yet," he scratched his masked chin, "any ideas?".  
She thought for a moment.  
"Well, since I've been busy at the hospital and there aren't really any missions to train for, I haven't sparred in ages," she said in a considering tone, "and since Sasuke isn't here, how about we do some sparring? It must have been a while since you've done anything but paperwork?".

Indeed it had, and sparring sounded like music to his ears.

_As did her voice._

"Sparring, huh," he tasted the words much longer than was really necessary, "that doesn't sound like a bad idea, actually".

She lit up, obviously excited to the prospects of getting some real exercise, and cracked her knuckles. Now he suddenly didn't feel so sure. He was quite out of shape, after all, not to mention he didn't have his sharingan either.

His thoughts must have reflected on his face, because Sakura quickly added:

"Don't worry, sensei, even if you may be out of shape, so am I, and you're not that old yet!"

_... Old._

"Ouch... don't remind me," he said, making a wincing face. She looked at him in puzzlement.  
"- that I'm old", he added, solving her question.  
Another big smile and small giggle.

_Precious._

"Better than not getting older, isn't it", she said playfully.  
"Point", he responded.  
"So let's see what time has done to your skills," she said, turning around to leave for the training grounds.  
"At least go easy on me," he begged slightly.  
"Nope, that would be unfair,"  
"How so?"  
"I wouldn't win, then",  
"... at least try not to break any bones," he enquired.  
"I'll consider it. But if I do, I'll fix you up right away!"

_Oh please do._

He followed a few steps behind her, watching her back. He smiled to himself.

_How you've grown. You've made me proud._

He hadn't seen much of her these past few years since becoming hokage, but he now had the opportunity to admire his former student.

_You've become beautiful_.

Kakashi almost froze in his tracks, though he kept walking. These thoughts were getting increasingly inappropriate. He shouldn't be thinking his way. He shouldn't be admiring her curves, nor how her hair played in the breeze as she walked. He most certainly should be looking at her ass.

_But she indeed was beautiful._

She looked at him, turning around so she now walked backwards a few metres in front of him, slowing her tempo and thus closing the distance... To walk next to him.

On their way to the training grounds, they only chatted loosely about nothing much at all - but it felt nice. Sakura mainly talked about her promotion at the hospital.  
Despite having hardly met due to everyone being busy with each their own matter, it hardly felt different from the old times, the time with Team Kakashi. Something Kakashi, at least, appreciated.

When they reached the training grounds, he summed up the rules.

"Rule number one, no killing me. And as mentioned, I'd also appreciate you try to avoid breaking any bones," he meant that more seriously than he probably gave impression of, "and rule number two," he paused and gave her a challenging look, "don't hold back."

"But sensei, those two rules don't even-," was as far as she got in her sentence before Kakashi disappeared before her, only to reappear in an attack, almost catching her off-guard.

He could complain all he wanted about losing his sharingan and getting older, but he sure could still put up a good fight.

oOo

The sparring carried on for a good ten minutes before Sakura finally delivered a blow that, quite unfortunately, ended up breaking at least a few of Kakashi's ribs.

"Okay, okay, time out!," Kakashi was obviously in pain, though he had experienced worse.  
"I wish I could say I'm sorry, but you can't ask me not to hurt you while still not holding back, so I'm really not...," Sakura gasped between heavy breaths, as she approached Kakashi lying on his back on the ground, equally breathless.

"You got me there, though," he huffed, beginning to sit up.  
"Stay down," Sakura ordered, and kneeled next to him, preparing to heal him.  
He did as he was told, lied back down and looked up at his former team mate, while she hovered green-glowing hands over his torso to find the damaged bones.

No words were exchanged as he lay there, being treated by his former student. Again. Though the last time had been long ago.

_Too long._

Well, not that Kakashi exactly enjoyed getting injured, but he felt it had been too long since spending time with his team.

_Especially Sakura._

And there he went again. He mentally slapped himself for allowing these thoughts to infiltrate his mind. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at her, and luckily his thoughts were soon cut off by Sakura.

"Ne, sensei...," she paused. He opened his eyes halfway. A distressed expression made up her features.

_Please, don't._

"Do you think I did the right thing?", Kakashi wasn't sure what she meant.  
"I mean, regarding Sasuke," she continued, "am I stupid for believing he will ever be able to think of me the way I've always thought of him?"

Kakashi looked at her with a slightly sorrowful look.

"I don't know," was simply his answer.

Tears started forming in her eyes.

_Please, don't._

He felt the remaining pain subside, and sat up as Sakura pulled away her hands to wipe her eyes, sniffing slightly.  
He was still looking at her sitting with her head bowed, eyes on the ground.

_Please, don't cry,_

he begged internally. Feeling an almost overwhelming desire to wrap his arms around her fragile, though not at all so, figure.

_But he couldn't. Shouldn't._

Sakura kept wiping her eyes. Silent, hidden tears. Still not looking up.  
She soon gave up fighting. Let the tears run freely and her hands fall to her lap, clenching the fabric of her skirt.

"Sakura...," he started, but never finished.

She didn't respond, but paused slightly in her crying, seemingly gathering her thoughts. Then she looked up. Teary, green eyes. Distressed.

"I've waited for him. I waited for so many years, and I thought that finally...," she looked down, "I thought that he'd finally accept me. That he'd finally choose me."

_Despair._

"But now I'm just not sure. I just don't know!" she looked up again. A desperate look.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep believing, keep my hopes up...," voice lowered.

"I feel like a fool!" voice once again raised, eyes once again clenched, face once again aimed at the ground.

_If only he could..._

All Kakashi had been able to until then was listen.

"There's nothing wrong with holding on to hope," was the best he could muster, "it takes a lot of strength, and many would in your case have given up by now."

_Making sure he didn't say something he would regret, yet not at all sure what he said did anything to help her._

She once again paused slightly, though still not looking at him.

"But," he continued, "one has to make up for themselves how long to keep fighting. If it's worth fighting for",

_Sasuke was not._

"If one is worthy of that struggle".

_She certainly was not._

He watched her, as it was all he could do.

_And he's not worthy of you._

Was what he wanted to say, but didn't.

_Why?  
Because it was not for him to decide._

Sakura had gotten her breathing under control, the grip on her skirt loosened. She lifted her face, her eyes looking into his.

"How do you know?", although she probably knew that was a question close to impossible to answer.

"... I think you just know." It was all he could give her.

She kept her eyes on him, searching for a different answer. For something to make the decision for her.

"I'm sorry," was her unexpected reply.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow in puzzlement.

"I'm sorry for always being so pathetic," Kakashi's eyes widened slightly in disbelief to what he heard.

_Pathetic?_

"All I ever do is being useless and cry about Sasuke..."

_Don't say that._

"You know that's not true," he wouldn't allow her self-loathing, "don't say such thing".

Heartfelt concern and affection couldn't be helped but show in his gaze upon the ambitious and talented young woman in front of him.

"I don't understand how you time and time again have put up with me," a slight smile of appreciation showing on her lips.

_Yes._

"- letting me carry on with my stupidity and naivety," smile widening, "saving me when I found myself in positions I was unable to handle myself," she thought back of the time Sasuke had honestly tried to kill her.

_Because..._

"I really am quite silly, having kept up my hopes like that all along. I mean, what kind of person wouldn't just abandon a person who tried to kill them?!," ridiculing herself.

_Don't._

"A kind of person with very strong feelings," he said, "one who doesn't just give up like everyone else would," voice low but steady.

She looked at him with a bit of disbelief.  
Then she shook her head slightly, a short laughter.

"Why are you like this to me?", an enquiring look, "why don't you just tell me to cut it out already?"

_Because...  
But he couldn't say._

But from the look he gave her, because he couldn't help it, it was probably hard not to know why.  
Her eyes widened slightly. A quiet gasp escaped her lips and she sat up a little straighter.

"Because I care about my students and my friends. People that are important to me," a desperate attempt to save himself from spilling his feelings, giving her the oh so well-known eye crinkle and masked smile.

Her eyes relaxed, and she smiled back at him.  
But she wasn't convinced.

_She had seen through his words._

She felt her heart beat a little faster, a little stronger.

_He couldn't possibly...?_

"Well, now that I'm all healed and fine, perhaps I should be heading back to my paperwork," he said quickly, breaking the atmosphere of whatever moment they may or may not have had.

_He couldn't let himself get carried away._

He prepared to get himself on his feet, and Sakura helped him - not that he really needed it, though, grabbing his arm to offer support. She paused when they were both standing, not letting go of his arm.

"Thank you...," soft and sincere, look fixed on her own hands, grip on his arm firming ever so slightly.

Kakashi looked down at still shorter form.

"You're welcome".

They looked at each other, gentle and affirmative smiles.

Sakura let go of his arm, and they walked back to the village together as if nothing particular had happened, discussing how Shizune might punish Kakashi when he returned. At least he could tell her that he hadn't just been lazing off with his Icha Icha series, but had in fact spent time doing something rather constructive.

"You're in for quite a lecture though, sensei...," she made him aware with a playful smile.  
"Yeah, I guess I am," he sighed, not the least bit doubtful of her words.

_He wanted her to smile like that, always._

But he couldn't help but feel he had also made a but of a mistake...

oOo

* * *

I don't even know what to say. Perhaps it's just horrible, OOC, boring and whatnot. I feel like I was going in circles, but then I also personally hate when characters are unnaturally rushed into things, especially relationships.

Please let me know what you think, what I should do different (but also very much what you like, pretty please! I'm all for positive reinforcement!).

I'm scared though, so go easy on me.


End file.
